The Creatures

C-LO:  In the newly revitalized world of the Bleacher Creatures, C-LO’s role on the team will feature work that revolves around his love of the NBA, NFL, MLB and all things Pop Culture. His unsubstantiated love for the New York Knicks continues to perplex even the most loyal fans of the 1970 and 1973 champions. His obsession with the Real World/Road Rules Challenge competitions is equally as baffling. He smiles when he listens to Phoenix, cries when he watches Scoop Jardine shave points, and laughs uncontrollably at the sight of his fraternity house at 4 AM. When he’s not roaming Yankee Stadium to find an aisle without the usher guarding it, he can be found working on his screenplay, “I Eat Because I’m Unhappy, and I’m Unhappy Because I Eat: True Life, Sororities”. C-LO is a junior at Syracuse University.

Barney: After a two-year hiatus away from The Bleacher Creatures, Barney has two words for his faithful readers: “I’m back.” Furthermore, he would like to dispel any rumors that he has a new name and it contains any combination of the words “World,” “Peace,” or “Metta.” This is simply not true. For those unfamiliar with the works of Barney, his main goal is to add some ice to the hefty cocktail that is The Bleacher Creatures. Boasting a wide array of knowledge about all things National Hockey League, Barney is also a fervent follower of college football and college basketball, and will occasionally dabble with the NBA and MLB. He also acts in supporting roles as TBC’s resident Bracketologist and Fantasy Baseball Roto Draft expert. Being a true New York fan (unlike a fellow TBC contributor), Barney is a diehard supporter of the Rangers, Yankees, Knicks, and Jets. And when it comes to the college game, Barney can often be found screaming at the TV while watching his beloved Syracuse Orangemen (he refuses to acknowledge the nickname “Orange”) battle it out on the gridiron or hardwood. Although not as much of a pop culture savant as fellow TBC contributors C-LO and Kar-El, Barney can hold a serious conversation on topics ranging from how much Charlie Sheen is #winning to how tragic it was when Arrested Development was cancelled. He has watched every episode of Entourage at least five times, and is still searching for his “Vinny Chase” friend so that he can quit his day job permanently. As for his own sporting endeavors, Barney is a two-time pool basketball world champion and also currently holds the world #1 mini-golf ranking. As noted above, Barney attends Syracuse University and is currently two-fifths of the way through his studies.

Kar-El: Kar-El started writing creatively in the 3rd grade, with his landmark thriller “Skip MacCarthy and the Inky Footprint.”  What the story lacked in plot, character motivation, central themes or any sort of discernable dialogue, it made up for in heart.  Since then he’s moved onto more mature narration, relishing in all things story.  The so-called Sultan of Plot studies English at Vanderbilt University.  He hopes to one day use his degree to become an intellectual, and look down at those beneath him.  Until then, he’ll bring you his humble opinion on the books, movies  and TV shows of the day.  His favorite stories include Game of Thrones, Risky Business, the Phantom Tollbooth, and The Matrix. Kar-El is a junior at Vanderbilt University.

Big T: Big T fancies himself an NBA and NFL Draft aficionado. His deep knowledge and passion for college sports is well documented around the office. Go ahead; ask him where Chris Fuamatu-Ma’afala went to school. Or how about Zendon Hamilton? Yep, he knows ‘em all. Beyond the college game, Big T will squash pretty much anyone in an NBA, NFL, or MLB debate. During the time he spent on the hardwood, he was compared favorably (or unfavorably, depending on who you ask) to a young Adam Morrison. Adam also happens to be his all-time sports hero. Although a life time New Yorker, he holds no allegiance to any of the teams you might expect him to save for the New York Yankees. This eclectic group includes the New England Patriots, Portland Trail Blazers and Duke Blue Devils. Additionally, he may be the biggest fan of SportsCenter commercials you have ever met. Big T is currently a junior at Boston University.

Sway: As the Creatures’ resident NFL and NCCA Football savant, Sway brings with him a host of opinions and insight. Born and raised in the lovely Garden State, he has been a loyal supporter of the New York Football Giants for many long seasons. Sway also supports the New York Metropolitans, Knickerbockers, and Rangers. If he isn’t answering your BBMs, he’ll most likely be found tuned into reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, and Workaholics. On the weekends, he dominates backyard sports like pool basketball, Wiffle ball, and lacrosse. Sway is currently a junior at Trinity College.

HAZ: HAZ has three loves: sports, music and southern belles.  When not thumping his eclectic music library or searching the Carolinas for a bombshell, he will gladly entertain any conversation dealing with Philadelphia sports. Hailing from “Chocolatetown USA” also known as Hershey, Pennsylvania, he  is always talking up his 11-time AHL champion Hershey Bears and their NHL affiliate and “soon-to-be champion” Washington Capitals. An active lacrosse player, he is well-versed on everything from the rules to the last 5 DIII champs.  His other love is soccer. When the World Cup or Champions League is in season, he’ll be in front of a TV or two, probably screaming or confidently proclaiming that he could have done better.  HAZ also leisurely competes in golf and tennis matches, when not enjoying long walks on the beach and broadway musical The Lion King.  But most importantly, if you so happen to see him chewing on a lollipop, for God’s sake, let the man be. HAZ is a junior at Syracuse University.

Grod: Born and raised in THE city, Grod chooses not to support the failing home-town teams, with exception to the great victors known as the New York Yankees. Like any good son, his allegiance lies with his father who hails from the great north state of Minnesota, specifically the Murderapolis region. Thusly, he favors the Vikings and Timberwolves, but because the T’wolves are usually done by tipoff he supports individual players in their quest for greatness: MJ, Tim Duncan, and now Lebron James (not going so well thus far). He can’t tell you anything about the MLB today but knows its entire history extensively. His noggin is said to be filled with useless knowledge, but he knows at least one thing about everything. He is especially looking forward to the kickoff of the UFL (Go Locomotives!). This is his obligatory comment about how Space Jam is not only his favorite movie but also the single greatest piece of cinema ever created. Grod is a junior at Pomona College