Big Names and No Game

News out of Bristol today is that the World Wide Leader has added two monstrous names to its NFL analyst lineup for this upcoming post-lockout season. The league’s best wide out and one of its greatest coaches, Jerry Rice and Bill Parcels have joined ESPN’s arsenal of football enthusiasts. I’m just perplexed as to how they are going to fill air time with this many guys. Also, how do the likes of Hugh Douglas and Antonio Pierce feel being relegated to the 1 am NFL Live slot with Mike Hill?

Listen, I don’t take issue with ESPN loading up on big names. It’s a timeless way of winning viewers and the WWL has mastered its craft. The problem is though that time after time this tactic has failed. Do a quick run through of ESPN talent in your head. Let’s just focus on their NFL cronies for the time being. Go ahead I’ll wait….

Ok, now the guys who do the best work are the ones that weren’t exactly household names during their playing days right? Dudes like Schlereth, Dilfer, Hasselbeck (Tim), and the irreplaceable Tommy Jackson are the ones who break down the game better than anyone. Conversely, we’re stuck listening to the likes of Ditka, Keyshawn, and Cris Carter every Sunday morning from 11-1. Why? Because we know their names. Parcells and Rice are no exception to this rule.

The most infamous of examples is the traveshamockery that was Emitt Smith. Great half back? You bet. But the man couldn’t speak a lick of english to save his life. Parcells was around Bristol in the earlier part of the last decade, and his reviews were mixed. I’m curious to see how this go-around turns out. I’m much more interested though in Jerry’s spin as a talking head. Will he follow a similar trajectory as his friend Emitt? All we can do is wait and see. For now, Eric Allen sits and weeps.