Intern Diaries: The Art of the Corporate Event, Part 2

Being an intern is like swimming in the Dead Sea: as hard as you try day after day, you just don’t do anything or get anywhere. But with years of interning experience under our collective belts, we here at the Creatures have picked up on some tricks of the trade.

Back on Wednesday, Sway detailed the daunting corporate challenge(s) that he faced on Thursday evening. Now he’s back with a quick recap of both events, one of which went as expected, and the other of which turned out to be a bit better than expected. Here’s the recap that we know you’ve been waiting an entire WKND for after the jump.

The Verizon Wireless Corporate Challenge certainly turned out to be the toughest part of my internship to date, and just as my internship is, was a complete waste of time. After hauling my ass to the finish line in 34 minutes–yes, that’s an 11:07 mile pace…dick–I was greeted, not with a beer, but with a massive fucking blister on my foot. It hurts, and it was definitely not worth the benefits of me running this fucking race on my company’s behalf. I ranked 1405 out of the 2010 males entered in the race..in other words, pretty shitty.

Though the race itself was not exactly a successful or useful endeavor, the “Luis” proved to work out well for me at the subsequent post-race company event. I was able to pass through two separate security “checks” and proceeded to order 2 beers and 3 vodka tonics within the hour that I attended the social gathering. The highlight of my co-worker’s night was passing around the now-famous “Luis” to some of my other colleagues, all of whom were speechless at how that stupid card was able to get me into a bar and allow me to slam 5 drinks within a matter of an hour. Not much more to write on this topic… best of luck to all of you 20 year old interns out there as you start another week of doing…NOTHING!